swear by the wind

Chapter 17 Double-Edged Pain

After making this decision, Ge Ziyan felt unprecedentedly relaxed and comfortable, as if everything had become empty.He organized the work plans assigned to him in the company in an orderly manner. In fact, these tasks will only be carried out after the next year, but since they have been assigned to him, he also wants to make them beautifully before leaving. Finished, no matter how you say it, even if these things can only play a negligible role, he is already very satisfied, at least he clearly understands in his heart that these things are all done for Ling Tian.

After finishing the work with a calm expression, he emailed the document to the head of the department, Pang Hai, and attached a concise letter of resignation.Ge Ziyan thought over and over again, and after confirming that all the work matters had been dealt with, he got up and cleaned the whole house, helped Ling Tian organize the clothes in the closet, sorted out the food that was about to expire in the kitchen, and helped Man change the dog. Grain, post-it notes are filled with life matters that I usually handle by myself.After being busy for a long time, I looked up and saw that it was getting late outside. I went back to my room and changed into clean clothes. I took out my mobile phone, sat at the table and thought for a while before turning on the recording.

"Ling Tian, ​​I don't know when you will find this recording. I hope it won't be a long, long time, hehe... But it doesn't matter even if it is true. It's just that it's finally the Chinese New Year, but I can't accompany you to eat the New Year's Eve Supper,...uh, maybe you don't want me to accompany you either, ha... just think I'm being affectionate!"

"I remember you said in the bar that you wanted me to sing to you. It seems that this is the first time you have asked me since we have known each other for so long. I will sing to you today, okay? Whether you accept it or not, it is considered early Valentine's Day gift now!

The window of the night gently pulls the dream to shake

make waves with your taste

You in the dream, always catch me and share

Fill the void in my heart with warmth

The long street stalls are exposed to the sun in the moonlight

The dead stars are all in the bag

Thousands of thoughts hang in the sky and cry

The fish that doesn't sleep takes me out to sea

I think your heart can't be that strong

pretending to be indifferent

In your direction can ride the imagination

Let the invisible me slip into your side and sleep so soundly

Let the invisible you walk into my dreamland and sing with me..."

"..."

The hand holding the mobile phone trembled uncontrollably, singing this soft and euphemistic song, Ge Ziyan couldn't help but recall every detail of knowing Ling Tianhou.It turned out that there were so many love-filled moments between them inadvertently. Even a subtle movement or an imperceptible look in Ling Tian's eyes could be played in Ge Ziyan's mind infinitely. It was only now that Ziyan realized that he had already loved Ling Tian so deeply.The slender and sweet voice reverberated in the empty room, enlivening the silent air. Although Ge Ziyan's face was covered with tears, he still smiled and sang this farewell love song to Ling Tian.

Ling Tian, ​​even if it is parting, I will say goodbye to you happily...

……

"Ling Tian, ​​I'm sorry, forgive my cowardice... I... don't know how to face you..."

"Ling Tian, ​​I remember everything from the past."

"Do you know? Your mother didn't commit suicide. The person who killed your mother was actually me! If it wasn't for saving me who fell off the cliff, your mother wouldn't die, neither would my father, and everything after If it happens, you will have a gentle and beautiful mother, and I will have a simple and warm home, and the happiness that could have existed is all... ruined for me."

"Ling Tian, ​​can you forgive my parents for hurting your mother? I know this kind of request is unreasonable, but if it wasn't for the fact that I, who was ignorant at the time, caused a catastrophe and made my parents bear a lot of money. Desperate, they would not do such a thing. In fact, I am the real culprit."

"Ling Tian, ​​I know that a single apology can't solve anything at all, and it can't erase your pain and anger for so many years, so I will do my best to repay it, and I only hope that there will be no hatred and pain in your future. Can you promise me that you will be happy every day from now on?"

"Ling Tian, ​​over the years, you are the first person who made me feel alive, and also the first person who loved me wholeheartedly. Thank you for giving me the best memory in my life. This memory is enough Support me to finish the last thing, let it end where it started."

"... Ling Tian, ​​do you hate me? You should! But what to do... I still love you."

To walk peacefully out of this house with all his love.After closing the door, Ge Ziyan put his forehead against the door, shed tears silently, closed his eyes and kissed the closed door lightly, turned around and left resolutely...

Goodbye, Ling Tian!

After Ge Ziyan left Duan Yufeng's house that day, Ling Tian did not leave immediately, but stayed until the next day. Of course, he did not spend time alone with Duan Yufeng during this period. their own thoughts.When Ling Tian left Duan Yufeng's house, he was stopped by Duan Yufeng,

"Ling Tian, ​​can't you stay?"

Duan Yufeng held Ling Tian's hand and looked at Ling Tian expectantly.Since Ling Tian and Ge Ziyan have such a complicated problem, according to their own judgment, they will never go back to the past, so isn't now the best time to capture Ling Tian's heart again!How can this opportunity be lost in vain?

"I'm sorry, Yufeng, even if it wasn't for Yanyan, it would be impossible between us."

"Why? Why did you treat me like this? Is it because I'm not good enough? Or because of something else? It doesn't matter, as long as you say it, I can change it! It's just... don't leave, okay?"

Duan Yufeng begged bitterly, trying to call back the heart that Ling Tian had left long ago.For so many years, he has been running around for this man wholeheartedly. No matter how tired or hard the journey is, no matter how difficult it is to be alone when he is sick, as long as he thinks of this man he loves deeply, he will have no regrets.However, all kinds of good things are not worth Ge Ziyan who just appeared not long ago, which made him feel so embarrassed.

"Yufeng, I made an agreement with you when I agreed to be with you back then, you shouldn't have forgotten it? We agreed that we would never bring any emotion into it. Besides, now I don't want to think about such things at all. Yufeng, actually You are a very good person, the problem is not with you, but with me, my heart has long been unable to accommodate anyone, even if Yanyan and I cannot return to the past, I can no longer accept the second person. Do you understand? I'm sorry! I can only let you down, I don't deserve your treatment, I hope you can find someone better than me to love you."

Ling Tian pulled Duan Yufeng's hand away, gave him a deep hug, turned his head and resolutely left Duan's house, without the slightest hesitation, and walked cleanly.

Duan Yufeng looked at the leaving back, knowing that from today onwards he would never see this man again, feeling sad and bitter in his heart.It hurts so much... His heart seemed to be nailed hard by a sharp thorn, the pain was so painful that he was about to suffocate, the tears in his eyes slipped silently, his withered body leaned against the door, looking at the tall and straight figure that was fading away, He murmured in a low voice: "...Why, can't you just look at me? Ling Tian..."

Ling Tian drove the car aimlessly outside for most of the day, and then went straight back to the main house in the outskirts.Since his father started to play around, he has never been back for a day, and has always been taken care of by a full-time nanny at home.The nanny was also taken aback when her master came back suddenly, and hurriedly rearranged the room and prepared dinner.

Ling Tian walked around the big mansion in a restless mood, and when he passed the backyard, he unexpectedly found a plum grove blooming there, which must have been planted by his father the year before last.This plum grove is layered on top of each other, and the branches are entangled. Even though it is separated by a long corridor, he can still feel the scent of plums entangled around him.He walked slowly to a plum tree, stroking the fragrant flower bones on the branches with his fingers, and in front of his eyes was Ziyan's face full of tears and despair when he left that day.

--Yan Yan, why did we become like this.It is not what I wish to hurt you, but why did I still say those words cruelly at that time.Yanyan,...how on earth should I treat you?

miss him!Still miss him!Even though my mood is complicated and embarrassing, I still can't help thinking about him like this, what should I do?Should we continue our hatred, or let each other go?It's not what I want to hurt Ziyan like this, but if I let go of the hatred of more than ten years, can I do it?

Ling Tian let out a deep breath, wishing to get rid of the boredom in his chest. He leaned on the plum tree, lit a cigarette, and looked at the green peaks in the distance with deep eyes.He remembered that in that mountain peak, there was a cliff where his mother ended her life.He knew that place but had never set foot there, because that place was a forbidden place for him that he could not muster up the courage to step into in this life.

The sun is moving towards the west bit by bit according to its trajectory, and the orange color gradually dyes half of the sky.As the sunset got later, the color of the sky became more and more red, faintly like blood dyed.

In the afternoon, the warm air gradually turned cold, and when the nanny at home found Ling Tian and invited him to dinner, he came back to his senses.Looking at the twilight sky, he realized that he had been meditating alone in the Merlin for a whole afternoon.In response to the nanny, she rubbed her numb legs, got up and went back to the house.

After dinner, Ling Tian was about to go back to his room to rest when he suddenly received a call from his subordinate Pang Hai.

"Boss, why did Xiao Ge resign? You did a good job. Don't you know him very well, why don't you persuade him? He usually listens to you. What a talent, it's a pity to lose it."

Pang Dahai usually speaks bluntly, and he is not very polite with this younger boss. Anyway, Ling Tian has always disliked that kind of nonsense.

"Who do you think resigned?" Ling Tian was taken aback, thinking he had heard it wrong.

"Ziyan! I just received an email from him. That kid actually finished all the plans for the next year that we made in the previous meeting. I took a rough look, hey! This kid, he did a very good job He really deserves to be able to complete so many tasks with high quality and good quality in such a short period of time! But he actually offered to resign! It’s inexplicable, this kid has never treated him badly, why can’t he think about it? Since he wants to resign, why? He still takes so much trouble to get out of next year's work. I really can't figure out what is going on in his little head! He also told me that he wants to be my little brother in the next life, heh... I can't figure it out."

"When did you receive this email?" Ling Tian hurriedly interrupted Pang Da Haixu before finishing his long speech.For some reason, when he heard that Ge Ziyan had resigned, he suddenly felt an indescribable palpitation.

"Let me check the time. Uh... He sent it 2 hours ago. I just turned on the computer, and I called you directly after seeing it."

"Okay, I see, I'll contact him."

After finishing the phone call, the restless Ling Tian immediately dialed Ge Ziyan's number, but no one answered even after several calls, and the same was true for the phone number at home.The more Ling Tian thought about it, the more uneasy he felt, he rushed out of the house in a panic, drove straight to his home in the city.

As soon as the car came to a complete stop, Ling Tian rushed to the front of his house anxiously.

"Bang!" The door was pushed open heavily, and the person who opened it seemed to rush in.

"Yanyan! Yanyan! Are you there?!"

Ling Tian eagerly called Ge Ziyan's name loudly, and searched every corner of every room, even the wardrobe, but no one answered.Seeing the obviously cleaned house and Ge Ziyan's untouched luggage, Ling Tian panicked.When he saw the cell phone left by Ziyan, he felt more and more uneasy.

The phone was still on the recording interface, and Ling Tian guessed what Ge Ziyan might have left, so he checked the recording.Sure enough, I saw 2 recordings in it, and the time was that afternoon.

Ling Tian clicked on the first recording, and a familiar voice rang in his ears, it was the song Zi Yan sang for him.I didn't expect Ziyan to sing so beautifully, his voice is so clean and pure, listening to his beautiful singing seems to make my heart soar and heal all the sorrow and pain.Listening to the joyful but sad singing voice, one can imagine what a heart-wrenching person the person with such a beautiful and pure voice must be.

The delicate and soft singing voice wafted through the cold room, but it was supposed to be a sweet and lingering love song, but it was unexpectedly ethereal and ethereal, making Ling Tian want to cry.

After listening to the second recording, Ling Tian's heart felt as if he had been poured into a large bucket of bone-piercing ice water. His whole heart sank to the bottom of the sea in an instant, and the nerve that had been restless in his brain finally snapped with a "snap".

Listening to Ge Ziyan's eloquent account of the past that he remembered, Ling Tian was shocked by the final truth of the incident, and even more astonished by Ge Ziyan's farewell words at the end of the recording.What a sin!What to say to repay!That fool actually wanted to take his own life to make amends!

Before Ling Tian had been hesitating between giving up his hatred and continuing to hate him, but when he thought that he might lose Ge Ziyan forever, he panicked and frightened. This feeling of panic came again after he lost his mother. to him.

--Why do you have to wait until you lose to know how important he is to you!Why do you have to regret to understand that some things cannot be turned back!

Ling Tian slapped himself hard, "Yanyan, Yanyan, please don't do stupid things!"

At this moment, Ling Tian was already in a state of anxiety and was in great chaos.He listened to that passage over and over again, hoping to reveal some information from it, but he was in such a mess right now that he couldn't calm down and think carefully.He began to hate himself for being narrow-minded and persistent. He knew Yanyan's physical condition, and knew that Yanyan had an invisible bomb in his mind, but his own indiscretion and quick revenge still drove him to this place. Such a hopeless situation actually forced him to commit suicide!

Ling Tian clenched his fists tightly, the pain from the nail piercing his palms stimulated his nerves, and made his chaotic and bewildered brain a little clearer.He knew that it was not an option for him to be in such a panic all the time, he could only waste precious time, and what he needed most now was to race against time to find Ziyan, and he must be found before he did something stupid!Ling Tian grabbed the phone and started to look around along the street, trying to find Ge Ziyan among the pedestrians on the street.

On the way, Ling Tian dialed Ah Xuan's number, briefly told him the reason of the incident, and hurriedly urged him to go to the rehabilitation hospital to inquire about the situation.When Ah Xuan heard that the originally irrelevant pursuit of revenge had turned into the current situation, he was also shocked.I wanted to scold Ling Tian severely, but I thought that now is not the time to scold others, the most important thing is to find Ziyan immediately, but the bad thing is that not only can't contact Ge Ziyan now, but also Ling Tian is afraid that it is him. Something bad would happen, so Ah Xuan couldn't help being anxious, and anxiously pulled Xiao Qi to drive to the rehabilitation hospital.

"Ling Tian, ​​Xiaoqi and I have already arrived at the hospital here. It's very bad news. Ziyan's mother passed away yesterday. I heard from the nurse that Ziyan just came to the hospital this morning to deal with the funeral. Do you have any news over there? ? Have you found him?" The tone on the phone was very heavy.

"What!! How could it be so sudden!...Ah Xuan, I've searched everywhere, every place I've been to before, but I still can't find him. I don't even know where to find him! Maybe, Maybe something happened to him! I’m the bastard! Knowing that he looks strong but is actually weaker than anyone else, I said those words on purpose. If something happened to him, I, I too... "

Ling Tian spoke in a disorderly manner, and his tone of voice when speaking to Ah Xuan on the phone clearly revealed that he was extremely anxious and panicked at this moment.Axuan believed that if something happened to Ge Ziyan, maybe this person would also collapse.

"Ling Tian, ​​listen! Now is not the time to panic, you should think about where Ge Ziyan might be going, and we will search separately. Don't worry, we will definitely find him!" Ah Xuan could hear Ling Tian's panic , forced to comfort him calmly.In fact, he and Xiaoqi are not in a hurry, but now that they are in a mess, it will not help to find Ziyan at all, and it may delay time.

"Yes, yes, don't panic, Yanyan is still waiting for me, you must not panic. Ah Xuan, do you know Ziyan's home? You go there first and I will think about whether there are other places where he might come Go, let me know as soon as you have news."

"Okay, you also pay attention to safety and keep in touch."

Axuan hung up the phone and went straight to Ziyan's house with Xiaoqi. The community has already started to be demolished, and the whole place is like a big construction site. It's pitch black at night, except for a few night cats who came out to look for food. No.The two searched around in the dark for a long time, and finally found a homeless man picking up waste, but they didn't find anything after asking for a long time.

Xiao Qi slumped down on the ground, covering his face and crying, he didn't understand how things turned out like this, wasn't everything fine in the first place?He has always believed that Ziyan and Lingtian are the most suitable couple, the two have mutual affection and there is no interference from external forces.He still remembers how much he envied Ziyan in his heart before the matter between himself and Axuan was resolved. He thinks that Ziyan, who has a gentle personality, can also get the most cherished care for granted, and happily enjoy his next beautiful life, because Ling Tian's feelings for Ziyan are obvious to all, and even Xue Kai is also beyond reproach.Everything is beautiful, but I just don't understand why God tortures people so much.

"What should I do...Ah Xuan, will Ziyan..." Xiao Qi choked up and didn't dare to ask, he didn't want to say such unlucky words, as if if he said it, it would become true.

"No! Absolutely not! We will find him. Be stronger, Xiao Qi, and we will definitely find him!" Ah Xuan firmly hugged Xiao Qi who was sitting on the ground, and replied firmly.

"Yes, don't give up! Ah Xuan, let's look elsewhere. I must find him and scold him severely, idiot! Idiot!...too stupid..."

Ling Tian drove the car along the street to search all the way, the recording that Ziyan left him kept ringing in his head, and the impatience in his heart swelled to explode as time passed bit by bit.He could hardly hold back anymore, if Ge Ziyan could not be found again, maybe he would kill himself.He felt that the reason for the development of things to this point was all on him, because his obsession with revenge was too deep, and he couldn't see clearly what he needed most. Hatred is a double-edged sword. Up to now, hurting the person I love the most hurts me, and... Maybe I don't even have a chance to repent.

"Where are you?" Ling Tian wondered anxiously, but he couldn't figure out where Ziyan would go.

"You said you want to end it all, how could it end so simply, and how could you return to the original point! If things were so simple, there wouldn't be so many regrets in the world!"

Ling Tian's eyes were reddened, and impatiently honked the horn to urge the car in front, seeing the car in front has been slow, cursed in a low voice, and was about to speed up to pass, suddenly a white light flashed in his mind,... Go back to the original point and end everything... It seems that Ziyan said the same thing in the message.

"Back to the origin? Where it started? I got it! I got it! Yan Yan, you must wait for me! Don't do stupid things!"

Looking up at the faint mountain shadow in the distance in the twilight, Ling Tian hurriedly turned in one direction, and directly turned his car in the middle of the road, causing several cars around to make a harsh brake sound, regardless of the surrounding drivers' abuse And blame, kick the accelerator to the end, bang the engine and drive straight to the suburbs like lightning.