No.20 years

26

Chen Jingming, you... really don't need to be so humble.

But Hao Chun is 35 this year, not the silly 15-year-old boy back then.He was too lazy to say this sentence.He thought for a while, but the darkness in his eyes deepened. "Chen Jingming?"

"Huh?" Chen Jingming, 35 years old, looked closely at him.

Hao Chun raised his eyebrows, and then hissed with a laugh.

Time always treats this kind of rich people very preferentially. Ten years later, Hao Chun knows how old he is without looking in the mirror, but Chen Jingming is different.Ten years after the breakup, Chen Jingming was actually more handsome, and he was the kind that was most described in Chinese textbooks in the past—such as Sui Houzhu and Heshibi.

Hao Chun didn't know why he could think of such an adjective, it was so polite, it really wasn't suitable for a rotten fish like him.

Ten years have passed, and 20 years have passed.Maybe he is the only one left who can still remember clearly the past between him and him.Outside the Shaohua window in class three (three) of that year belonged to him alone.And Chen Jingming?Chen Jingming probably forgot about it long ago.

"...Ah Chun, what did you want to ask me just now?" Chen Jingming pressed his fingertips slightly and whispered to him softly.

When Hao Chun was called back to focus, he frowned a little uncomfortably, with a little impatience.With a flick of the hand, the two of them forcibly separated from the interlocking stage. "Forget it, you should take me to see that flower first!"

"Butterflies."

Chen Jingming pursed his thin lips nervously, and the tip of the finger that was thrown away curled up.After a pause, he added more cautiously and softly: "It's very similar to the layout of the hospital in Jingshan back then."

Hao Chun froze, raised his eyebrows, and smiled with a crooked mouth. "What do you mean?"

Chen Jingming seemed to be more cautious, so careful that he even dared to answer him with slightly clenched fists after a few seconds of silence. "It was my fault for sending you to that hospital in Jingshan back then. Ah Chun... I'm sorry!"

This is also a belated apology.19 years late.

Hao Chun's nose shrugged slightly, and the sound of breathing burst out from his chest, which was deserted for a moment.What he cared about and cared about for so many years, the quagmire he couldn't get out of all his life, turned out...to the other party, it was nothing more than a fluffy sorry.

Does he need this "sorry"?

Hao Chun glared fiercely at Chen Jingming. "Chen Jingming, don't apologize!"

Chen Jingming raised his eyebrows and looked at him in a daze.

"I'm sorry, it will only make me hate you!" Hao Chun gritted his teeth when he spoke, wishing for the kind of deep hatred that would tear everything in this reality into pieces. "Chen Jingming, remember, I don't need anyone to apologize for everything back then, and I don't need anyone to say sorry to me!"

"But Ah Chun..."

"Get out!" Hao Chun snapped, pointed at Chen Jingming's bridge of nose, gritted his teeth and said, "Chen Jingming, don't force me to hate you!"

Chen Jingming's face turned pale.

"You insist on mentioning that private hospital to me, don't you?" Hao Chun forced his face, leaning over for a moment, almost forcing Chen Jingming to retreat. "Huh? You dare to mention it because you don't know anything!"

With a clear face, Chen Jing's lips trembled a few times before asking him. "Ah Chun, what happened that year?"

In the third year of middle school, Hao Chun was just a child, he didn't know anything, and he would always treat him like a baby and love him.It's not like later... Later, during the three years in the ninth middle school, Chen Jingming now thinks back that Hao Chun visited him every weekend in those three years, and even insisted on attending the appointment on that damn typhoon day. despair.

There is only despair, so I can be so desperate.

"Achun," Chen Jingming couldn't even control his voice trembling, trying to suppress his emotions by clenching his fists, but it still failed. "You...do you really hate me?"

Hao Chun snorted and stared at Chen Jingming like a sleepy beast.

Hao Chun also really knew that he had gone crazy long ago.Not the year they broke up, but as early as when he was locked up in the private hospital in Jingshan, he was already crazy.Qian Qiang's lie just gave him an excuse, a...appropriate excuse.

So Hao Chun suddenly turned his head and looked at Chen Jingming seriously. "Chen Jingming, sometimes I really think you are ridiculous! It's so ridiculous!"

Chen Jingming's face was pale, like a ghost walking in the mortal world, but he still mustered up the courage to ask. "Sometimes, when?"

"A lot of times." Hao Chun's answer was taken for granted, even with a kind of cruelty unique to mental patients.

"……for example?"

Hao Chun turned his eyes back again, and rubbed his fingers against the freshly opened pack of mint cigarettes in his trouser pocket. "For example..."

Hao Chun was silent for half a second, then laughed. "For example, that private hospital, under Jingshan Mountain, has a beautiful view. I know you all use it as a nursing home. But do you know who came there when you were really preparing for the middle school exam?"

Chen Jingming clenched his fists and asked him tentatively in a hoarse voice. "Is it true that my grandfather went to see you alone? Or your father?"

"Your grandfather."

Very short answer.To put it simply, every word also has the smell of a mental hospital.Surrounding the two of them, the smoke disappeared in an instant and everything flickered strangely, and the smell of disinfectant filled the air.For a moment, it seemed that the smell of disinfectant was so strong that it was pungent, that kind of pungent that made Chen Jingming change color.

Chen Jingming raised his eyelids. "He went to you, what did he say?"

"Say, I must be a lunatic." Hao Chun sneered resoundingly, raised his head, and those naturally bright and unparalleled red phoenix eyes were full of disdain. "He asked me to let you go."

Hao Chun squinted at Chen Jingming, his pale and dry lips curled up slightly, a half-smile. "Chen Jingming, do you think I should let you go?"

Snorting sound.

grandfather.

The possibility that Chen Jingming didn't want to believe in finally came to the ground with a bang, so cruel that there was no room for it.

All the past over the years suddenly dissipated into smoke.

Grandpa, not only Chen Jingming's grandpa, when the two of them got so close that when they ate and slept together, Hao Chun would always call him Grandpa, not even the "Chen" surname.Grandpa answered with a smile every time, walking the thrush, or puckering his lips to tease the birds in the sun.Chen Jingming and Hao Chun have always had a share of any good and new things that the Chen family has, exactly the same thing.

Once, Chen Jingming's father sent a PSP back to Taiwan from country A. After receiving the goods, instead of getting a thank you from his son, he received a call from the old man instead.What Grandpa Chen Jingming scolded on the phone was full of anger!The phone call was made in front of Chen Jingming and Hao Chun - it was a sunny spring afternoon with a gentle breeze.

It was probably a Saturday afternoon. Chen Jingming had just finished playing and was taking off his vest dripping with sweat.

Hao Chun leaned behind his ear, sniffing around like a puppy.

"What are you doing?" Chen Jingming's ears turned red immediately, and he turned his head a little annoyed. "Ah Chun, don't make trouble!"

Hao Chun giggled, revealing two small canine teeth. "Hey, did you go to play with those gangsters from Thirteenth High School today?"

"En." Chen Jingming pursed his lips.

"Those bastards," Hao Chun said, lying on his shoulders, and the sound of breathing entangled him when he spoke. "Why bother you, Chen Jingming?"

Chen Jingming was silent, too nervous to move his eyes.Hao Chun lay on his shoulders, so he could feel his body becoming stiff.Hot sweat oozes profusely from the back of Chen Jingming's neck. His hair is short, and the back of his neck is so hot that it seems like a fire is spraying out.

Hao Chun wiped it with his finger, grinned, and just about to say something, Grandpa Chen Jingming roared in his ear.

— "Who asked you to send this thing? Huh?"

Grandpa seldom swears.

Chen Jingming and Hao Chun turned their heads in surprise.Through the half-open glass door, Grandpa was standing in front of the Bogutong shelf and making a phone call.After about a series of angry reprimands, grandpa said something emphatically. "I'm not telling you to buy it, nor is it restricting Xiaojing to play games. I'm asking you to buy another one and send it over. Remember, it must be exactly the same!"

After hanging up the phone, grandpa walked towards the two children vigorously and spoke loudly. "Xiaojing, didn't your dad send you something?"

"PSP." Chen Jingming whispered.

"Well, it's that P!" Grandpa stared at Chen Jingming, and made a final decision. "Give that to Ah Chun first, and then your dad will send you another one, and you can play with it later."

"Hey, it's not grandpa," Hao Chun turned his head and said with a playful smile. "My grades are not good, and you still let me play games? Why don't you just forget about it, I heard that it's quite expensive. Me, I don't want it."

Grandpa sighed earnestly. "Achun, I treat you as my grandson. Just like your father, what do you think he can take care of you? This P, you must buy it. You play with it first!"

Chen Jingming also curled up his thin lips, and in turn persuaded Hao Chun. "Ah Chun, play with it first, I don't like to play games anyway."

15-year-old Hao Chun smacked his lips and smiled heartlessly.The light in the spring breeze is always soft, blurring the strange look in Hao Chun's eyes.

Thinking about it now, it turned out that grandpa didn't want the two of them to be together.It's just that some people will use violence to block it, and grandpa is a little more advanced.The deep meaning in those words, the psychiatric ward of Jingshan Private Hospital that Hao Chun contacted, and even the grandfather who was standing in front of Bogutong's rack and roaring that spring afternoon... It turned out that it was just a cover-up.

At the age of 35, they can now understand that kind of concealment.

What Hao Chun said that afternoon was right, his grades were bad, and his grandfather still encouraged him to play games—why?

Because Grandpa hoped that Hao Chun would be so rotten that he wouldn't be able to get into the Ninth Middle School.

When 35-year-old Chen Jingming raised his eyelids again, he could only hear the heart beating in his chest as if it was about to rebel.He and he really separated later, so Hao Chun became the last person he couldn't touch in countless midnight dreams.

The 35-year-old Hao Chun is in front of him now, so close and within reach.

"If you were really going to let me go, you wouldn't... and then you got along with me for ten years." Chen Jingming's eyes were slightly red, and his voice was hoarse, as if he hadn't slept for days and nights. "Ah Chun, admit it! Everything is false, those people, what those people said are all false. I sent you to Jingshan, I was sorry for you. Now I regret it, I want to start again with you Ah Chun! You...give me another chance, okay?"

35-year-old Chen Jingming is so humble that he is almost desperate.Those obsidian eyes as bright as the North Star are now covered with bloodshot eyes. If you look carefully, you can even find acne and beard under the skin.

These injuries made this imperial kiln-level man suddenly more aura.

"Ah Chun, I was wrong in the past. You...give me one more chance, just one time, okay?"

Hao Chun was silent for a long time, and suddenly got bored.He turned his head and didn't want to look or listen anymore, the pack of mint cigarettes in his trouser pocket had long been wrinkled by rubbing.Unfamiliar smoke, unfamiliar hospital, unfamiliar...mental hospital.

Hao Chun suddenly became restless again. "Even Grandpa said I'm not good enough for you. Chen Jingming, you better get out! Get out as far as you can, I don't want to see you anymore. After so many years, you are you and I am me, so it's okay okay?"

"Not good." Chen Jingming whispered in his ear like an unbeatable Xiaoqiang. "Achun, you know, I can't leave you. Even if you don't want me, I still can't leave you."

"Fuck!" Hao Chun turned around and cursed viciously, his voice was loud and full of air. "Chen Jingming, keep this set and go coax others later!"

"I have no one else..."

"roll!"

"Ah Chun," Chen Jingming, instead of rolling away, forced a kiss against Hao Chun's cheek. "I don't have anyone else, never have. So, I don't allow you to have anyone else!"